To add some context to my journey as a prophetic artist, I’d like to share my testimony about how I became a Christian.

Growing up I never believed in God, I wasn’t required to attend church nor was any religion ever discussed. My childhood was one of despair and hopelessness. I will not go into too many details, but I hated my life, even from as young as 6 years old.

I started drinking heavily from the age of 13. I started drugs by 15.

From 1993 to 1998 I was so lonely, I did not have any friends, it was the saddest time of all. I had a job in an office but hated it. Every night I would daydream about how I could end it without upsetting my mum. It sounds daft now, but that was truly the only thing that probably stopped me succeeding.

However, as a young man in my mid to late twenties, I did attempt suicide twice. One of the times I even went to Amsterdam with the plan that no one would ever know who I was when my body was found. I was intent on ending it all.

I obviously failed. 🙂

I was sat in a dingy hotel room with my slit wrist but the blood just would not flow. I couldn’t even succeed at this! Failure was a huge part of my life experience.

I then found myself wandering around Amsterdam city center in a daze. I do not remember how I got there but it was something like midnight when I found myself sat in this old church, there was no one else there but I prayed from my heart “God if you are real, show up!”. I then got a plane back to the UK and arrived in London at 2am (I paid for a taxi back to Lancashire and it cost me £300, no wonder I was in debt!). This would have been around 1998 I think.

So you ask, “this is where you became a Christian yes?”

No.

In fact, over the next 5 years, from1998 to2003, my belief in God got even worse! I actually became hostile toward anyone who would even remotely mention God to me. I hated God. I hated religion. I hated Christians. I hated life.

But from 1998 onwards things did change. I met new friends, I was no longer lonely and even though I still hated life, the desire to end it all somehow faded into the background.

Though I was abusive toward Christians, from 1998 to 2003, I had these people constantly approach me to give me the ‘Good News!’ or tell me ‘Jesus loved me’. I would mock them, I would tell them to **** off. I would become very aggressive.

One of my friends ( I won’t mention his name but he knows who he is) was a Christian, but I did not know this. I eventually found out whilst having a drink with him in a pub. I laughed my head off as he tried to tell me God created everything. His life was kind of difficult after that having me for a ‘friend’. To my shame I used to mock him at every possible opportunity. He even believed the devil was real. Can you imagine???

In 2000, I was diagnosed with diabetes and so had to inject four times a day. The problem was, I was an alcoholic and I could only face life by drowning out the thoughts that were battering my head with a lot of drink. Heavy drinking and diabetes do not mix! Then in 2003, one bleak Friday night, I had spent £80 on shots of Jack Daniels (they were on offer at £1 per shot). My Christian friend got me home. He left me puking on my living room carpet; a mess!

That night I had a dream that would change my life forever! I will not go into details what it was, but I just KNEW that God was real and that I had believed a lie about Him throughout my life. The next weekend I bought a case of Stella Artois and made my Christian friend tell me about Jesus. We got drunk as he shared the gospel and the reality of Christ’s crucifixion. He also shared that the night he left me on my carpet, his mum was having a prayer meeting, my friend and they prayed for me with true faith. These prayers enabled God to reach me through that dream. I am eternally in their debt!

That was when I became a Christian. That was when my journey with Him began.

I have missed a lot of the details out in this testimony, maybe I will fill in bits now and again, but I wanted you to know from what dark place I came. The mental torture I endured, the nightmares and fear I lived with.

Now my mind is clear, my thoughts are full of colour, my hopes are assured, my life is awesome. I have not yet fully healed physically and some days I have to battle as old thoughts try and gain traction, but they have no power now, and the freedom I experience is way beyond anything I could have ever imagined.

I used to say Christians were weak, pitiful creatures using God as ‘crutch’ to limp along in life.

Not any more!

I now know that any Christian who has truly attained some manner of peace and joy in their lives have gone through hell and beyond and to have overcome their past.

They are the bravest, most courageous people I know.

My wife Jenny is one of them.